My review on Pirates of the Caribbean 3:
Elisabeth's a whore.
Also:
-The centrality around Keira Knightly was disgusting and eye-twitching.
-So was how skinny she looked with that belt on.
-PotC 3 felt like a recycled version of 1. The same devices used over and over again (just in case we didn't laugh the first time).
-The continued "just in the nick of time" action sequences killed any hopes of suspense. (except for the part where will died. that was pretty rad)
-The digital animation was awesome as always.
-Sequels/Threequels have a tendency to introduce a cacophony of plot lines that either a)never meet their end or b)get lost in the swell of all the other tangents. eg. the introduction of Jack's father.
-On that note, Keith Richards, Johnny Depp, and Geoffrey Rush were the only saving graces. (considering we see Richards in about 2 scenes, that's saying a lot)
-Not to say it's a flop. There are moments of joy, sadness, anger, and even hallucinogenic references. (what movie would be complete without them?) Comparatively, it just simply doesn't cut it.
-For any cinematic series to be successful, each separate movie must be able to stand on its own. (eg. Lord of The Rings) World's End would have floundered if not for dedicated Johnny Depp (let's face it: that's what we're all there for) fans who didn't mind the boring sexual tensions and overdone fight scenes; just so they could catch a glimpse of his delightfully smudged eyeliner, and choir: "But where has the rum gone?"
ps: I realized the reason I despise Swan's character so much is because nothing she does has consequences. Not bad ones, at least. And they let her get away with being both insanely feminine (pretty/anorexic) & masculine (generally being badass) at the same time. They created a Mary-Sue out of a rich, disobedient wench.
pps: And there's no way in hell her teeth could have been that nice in THE 1600s.
ppps: Of course I'm jealous. I'm a girl.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I'm going to agree with you on every part that you listed. Expecially on Elizabeth. I called, well growled out in utter annoyance, that Elizabeth was going to be "King" once Jack got all 'let's vote!' But no freaking way. >.< No no no no no. Hello. She's completely obsessed with pirates, I mean she tried to kiss Jack again. AGAIN! How on earth can she suddenly become pirate king? ewwwwww.
Loved Jack's dad though, funny little twist/catch/whatever. XD
Then I'm going to add:
have you heard the rumor that if you watch the entire movie there is an excerpt from the 4th one. The 4th one. Are they bloody insane, why not just make twenty of them if they're never gonna stop!?
I agree about Elizabeth but I disagree with Alex on Jake's dad. He was in it for what? 7 minutes? Tops? Not worthy of any recogniction (totally spelled that wrong).
Post a Comment